Friends & Foes

Over the last couple of years I’ve weeded specific types of people out of my life. Not just purposely, but through change. When things started to look up for me, I started noticing I had friends/associates who just didn’t seem happy for me. They’d respond to any joyous thing I brought to them with negativity. I started realizing these people were contributors to the downer moods I was having. Ironically, when I’d cut them off, they would push back with anger. Seems to me that my friends were really foes and enjoyed watching my life spiral out of control over and over again. Why couldn’t I see this before?

I concluded that I hadn’t seen this before because I was really hard on myself. It was hard to see everyone else’s negativity when I was being blinded by a cloud of my own. My “friends” really didn’t encourage me or give me hope. They contributed to keeping me under water. Maybe it made them feel good about their own lives? Truth be told, theirs weren’t perfect either.

I saw a meme one day that said if you want to see who your real friends are, then all you need to do is make progress in your life. There was a time when I would be kind of bothered by the things people closest to me would say. I don’t allow people to steal whatever joy I have now. As soon as someone starts behaving negatively I cut them off. It was something I should have done a long time ago. But you live and you learn.

I wish that I could have kept some of those friends but they just weren’t positive influences in my life. I needed that. I was tired of being everyone’s backbone. Being the one that people can turn to when they need help or someone to talk to when they need advice wasn’t always good because while I was uplifting people they were pushing me down. It wasn’t just being negative… it was the fact that they were always pushing their problems onto me when I was dealing with my own shit. I was being burdened and rarely ever considered when it was time for me to share my problems. When people see that you’re strong, they assume that you always are and therefore don’t always see when you need a shoulder too. But that also comes from a place of selfishness, which seems to be a trait a lot of people share.

Here’s to no more selfish, toxic, or negative people in my life.

I Think I’m Getting Old

Oh, the things I consider to be entertaining at my age. Of course, I enjoy reading a good book. Although, I haven’t read anything because of the reading that I have to do for my classes. The thought of reading a book after assigned reading just isn’t an appealing option. However, during my free time I enjoy watching TV Shows and movies. My addiction is serious. I have an actual app called Seen It just to keep up with my shows. I come across movies mostly just browsing Netflix or Amazon Prime. I think maybe I will start doing movie reviews here too. I realized the other day that I don’t see that very often when I’m reading blogs. Some people like clothes, shows, and beauty tips. I like movies and shows. So far I’ve done one book review but I do plan on doing more in the future. I just may do some for books I’ve already read. We’ll see.

I’ve always been interested in the writing of scripts and books. I’m a creative writing major after all. I’m doing very well in school by the way. Some of the courses I’m taking are very interesting. I’ve been especially indulged in my sociology course. It seems like some of the things I talk about with my friends fit into the realm of sociology. I briefly considered becoming a sociology major but that thought was completely short lived. I mean, I love the subject and all but I haven’t a clue where that would lead me in the future. I’m sure there are a plethora of possibilities… that I’m just too uninterested to explore.

I was searching for a wordpress theme because I wanted something very simple that would fit my blog. I couldn’t find anything suitable enough for me. Some of the themes that I do like appear to require photos in nearly every post. Not really sure how this would work for me because I don’t take photos often and especially not just for a blog. That’s too much pressure. In the meantime I plan on just tweaking this theme more. After all, this is a theme that I made from scratch. I built this theme years ago and created numerous themes from this one during the time. I suppose it’s just easier to stick to what I know. [EDIT] I ended up finding something simple and suitable. Tweaking is in session. [/EDIT]